Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Decisions. Life is Epic.

I'm a hypocrite in many ways. We all are. But lately, I feel like God's calling into question my convictions. Holding them to the light, if you will.

I'm the first one to beg people to live for something more, to never settle and to live wildly the calling of God. I try to be encouraging and I believe in every word I tell someone else. I truly do. Now, when faced with what I feel is a monumental decision, my own advice seems like a foreign language, meant to be interpreted for sport rather than practice and use.

It's hard to trust God when you can't hear Him, when you can clearly see choices laid in front of you and it feels like God's attention is elsewhere.

God seems so quiet right now.

Maybe I just need to be quieter than He is.

If you pray, please pray for me this week. There's some important decisions to be made.

If you had me as a teacher, now would be the time to tell me that I:
- A. Sucked horribly and couldn't teach a fish how to swim.
or
- B. Should keep my shenanigans going.


Thanks.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am not one of your students, but I hope that you consider me somewhat of a friend. I have always been advised to keep doing what I've been doing UNTIL God clearly shows me a different direction. God is not the author of confusion. You know who is! Your students both like and respect you. That goes for me too. Yes, I will pray for you and I KNOW that God will be clear with you IN HIS PERFECT TIMING. His abundant blessing upon you!!
Mama G (aka Mrs. Gilbert)

The Passerby said...

B.

I could get all chick-flicky here, go into a lengthy praises and insisting. But seriously.

B.

^_^

William said...

You know, I never was one of your students, but I could see your teaching skills shine through the way you treated our creative writing club. You seriously have something here, something great and I know God can use you in it. Just from heading up our club you taught us all great ways to grow in our writing, and an even better way to share it with each other. The ideas you passed on to us from your literature classes truly helped me, and I'm sure they've helped countless other people. (or the countable, considering the size of the club)

Even teaching us by example when you brought your stuff in to show off was a breakthrough for us all. It burst us out into the wide world of blogging, and hey, I have to thank you directly for that one.

So yeah, you've taught me many many lessons, and not all to do with academic interests. I'm going to have to say that you should keep your shenanigans rolling.

Seaner said...

Thanks guys, really means a lot.

julsie said...

The shenanigans must continue!
But on a serious note, you did teach us all a lot, whether academically or spiritually, etc.
Supporting Creative Writing club was huge for the few of us in it, and for those of us who were fortunate to have you in class, we appreciated all the things you shared with us.
You will be prayed for!

the bear said...

Man I hear you. Life is epic, but it can also be really scary! I definitely hear you on the "maybe I need to be quiter than God" part. I feel the same way most of the time. Remember that when we're faced with tough times God is usually trying to teach us something. A time like you're in right now where you're being stretched beyond what you ever thought you'd maybe have to endure is going to have some positive outcome.

Jacob Waltemeyer said...

Hmmm. I... I actually really don't know what to say. of course i believe you were an amazing teacher. You taught me more about God then the rest of my classes put together. Not because you are all knowing of the bible and lectured us on everything but because you never talked to us like you were above us but talked to us like you were on the same level. a person struggling through life. A christian living in a time of apathy and complacency. You inspired us to sound a call to others to wake up from our stupor and do something. Really it felt like i could have went to you with any problem. you have the power to inspire people to do great things. I never would have done layouts for numerous papers for other teachers. seriously.

I learned about journalism in the oddest way possible but i still learned about it. You didnt just lecture us on the method of writing but threw us in there and inspired us to do our best.

You are the most unorthodox teacher but it was a great change from the normal. I appreciated your class and was glad to begin each day with it. I do think you not teaching will be depriving the school of a great asset but if your heart isnt there and each day is a constant struggle and agony for you. God may be leading you somewhere else. Which is completely fine. I'm sure wherever you go you'll inspire and urge people to be great.

If you're looking for that adventure for the amazing narrative. so one day you can turn around and say hey i changed the world for you God. don't be scared to go out and find it. God will be with you. You'll have support from friends. Maybe you wont feel truly alive until you do jump out in faith.

I may be completely off here but i hope this helps you. Dont question your teaching you are a great teacher.