Wednesday, December 03, 2008

On Marriage.

This is still no substitute for a real essay, though one is in the works, I promise.

Has anyone else noticed (maybe/hopefully it's just me) that Marriage is under attack lately? Have you heard more stories recently of stumbling marriages, failing marriages?

Last week I had a parent/teacher conference with the father of one of my students. He was doting and proud, but concerned. He gave his family's allegiance to their daughter and her education.

This week, the student is pulled from school because he and her mother are divorcing.

The neighbors I used to wakeboard with are walking through the details of an exposed affair.

A friend of a friend found out that the guy she'd just rekindled a 5 year relationship with is actually now married.

If I'm honest, it's really hard for me to hear. It's hard for me to hear because it's something I want so badly, but I'm afraid of being that father of my student, the neighbor, the friend of a friend.

Maybe Marriage is so warred against because it's a direct invasion into enemy territory. It's the human manifestation of God's perfect metaphor. He in us and we in Him. It's marriage right?

I've been wooed and courted, loved and married. And I cheat and lie and demand divorce.

More to come. I truly do hope you haven't felt the same way recently.


Jesse B. Gill said...

Marriage will always be under attack man. I doubt that we're really wired for it...

...Or at least that we're encouraged to just bail on things when they get tough.

But here's the thing: all you can worry about is YOU. You can't worry about other people's (failed) relationships. All you can do is find the right woman to marry and then do right by her. That's it. There's no guarantee that she'll return the favor, either. You might be the perfect dude and she still might cheat. (Though doubtful, if you choose the right I did...she's awesome...)

Don't let other people's failure bring YOU down. Marriages will always fail because people aren't perfect. But that doesn't mean anything other than other people have failed. If YOU decide that YOU don't want to, you won't.

I have faith that you won't.

Love you bro.


Shawnte said...

I was reading about this last night! John Piper was writing about marriage and he referred to a passage in Matthew where Jesus was being interrogated by the Pharisees about divorce. And Jesus responds by directing them back to the beginning:

"He answered, ‘Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.’" Matthew 19:4-6

It is God who joins hearts together – this is a work of His person, His spirit. He did this with us: “I came by again and saw you, saw that you were ready for love and a lover. I took care of you, dressed you and protected you. I promised you my love and entered the covenant of marriage with you. I, God, the Master, gave my word. You became mine.” Ezekiel 16:8

This means it will be opposed, but is worth it! Right? I think being alert to the battle that swirls around marriage is better than being blindsided into thinking that we are incapable of playing the harlot. But we don’t have to depend solely on ourselves – “The Lord is the strength of my life…My heart shall not fear; though war may rise against me, in this I will be confident.” (Psalm 27: 1, 3) It may be opposed, but with God directing both people to find their strength in him and not in each other, or themselves it’s a dangerous adventure worth taking.

The Passerby said...

I think you and Andrew Liston need to be friends.

holly elaine said...

Haha! I agree with the Passerby.

shannon said...

It would be arrogant of me to pretend to know what it takes to make a marriage work. The honest truth is that I only know what makes ours work.
Dave has said of our wedding "All I wanted to do was get through whatever day we had to get through and at the end of it for you to be my wife." 10 years later that's still our battle cry.