Tuesday, October 31, 2006

whatever, goodnight.

I'm not sure what it is about me, about her, but something just doesn't feel right. Like sometimes i feel like i'm completely settling for security when what i want is the extraordinary. I don't want to believe that my best days are behind me. I'd love to look forward to something.


I want a story to tell. I feel like every time i sit down and write (to noone, mind you) all i'm doing is writing pathetic prose, skipping lines and adding italics for dramatic effect. I really don't have a story or method to my daily life. I have complaints and half-assed self realizations. I pretend that i'm a good writer, when I as far as i know, I can barely spell anymore.

Do i want to be a Lawyer? Do i want to be a teacher?

Am i smart enough for either, or am i just lazy enough to call it a "couldabeen"

whatever, goodnight.

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