Potent(ial)

I should sleep but can't.

Spending 10 hours of my everyday lulled by the humming of air conditioning and tick-tacking of computer keys is taking its toll on me.

I should sleep but can't.

I hate that the best parts of our days, the times in which we are most awake and alive are spent attempting to organize and contain ourselves, processing paperwork and propelling some distant mechanism that generates paychecks. I realize that work is work, I do. And I'm not complaining.
In the midst of such economic uncertainty I'm thankful that I have a decent job,

I want to dive into Life is Epic, I truly believe it's worth it. I think God's asking me to take a risk.

To move from "potential" to "potent."

Here's to hoping I trust Him.

Easily Pleased

I feel uninspired and uncreative, so I'll let a much better man do the updating.

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. we are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. "
--- C.S. Lewis The Weight of Glory

Update from the office

I am officially "Ryan the temp."

:(

Manifesto

For the past few weeks we've been trying to carve out a short mission statement/manifesto to be printed on the inside of each shirt. It lets the wearer know who we are, and who they're supporting. Hopefully a little encouragement as well.

Please comment and let me know what you think.

We are not political. We are not businessmen. We are not black. We
are not white. We are no nationality. We simply want to breathe deeply the
breath of life. We understand that there is none more important than our
neighbor, and as long as our neighbor is suffering, we are suffering.


Life Is Epic was formed by a group of artists with a common cause: to
create apparel that means more than the fabric it's made of. We support the
relief effort for the increasingly serious Malaria epidemic by donating one
insecticide-treated net for every one shirt purchased.

We believe that a T-shirt can be more than clothing. We believe that living
can be mean more than being alive.

We are passionate.

And we believe that passionate people can change the world.


Life is Epic was born out of these convictions and we hope that it can
excite and inspire people to come alive and to follow their passions. To live
for something bigger than ourselves.

We believe that a world full of passion is a world full of love - full of
change - full of Life.

Come Alive. Life is Epic

The Road Less Traveled has Weeds and Thorns

Each day I wake up, face the day and begin.

Each day, I satisfy the pain whispering in my stomach and I walk out into a world filled with hard surfaces, with sharp objects and angry people. Each day I avoid these things.

It's like best hours of my everyday is spent giving my best effort to avoid pain. That's it really. You try to have times that feel good, but for the most part we're drowsily pacing through the day with the sole mission of avoiding pain.

At work, you make sacrifices given the nature of your job, but pretty much, all we're doing is biding our time, avoiding pain.

It's understandable, of course. Pain hurts for a reason; generally-speaking it's our biological way of saying something is wrong, a situation needs remedying, but I think we're missing out sometimes by sterilizing every situation. I think we're missing out on living.

I'm not pointing the finger, arguably I'm the best/worst case study in awkward-situation avoidance. Most of the time I'd prefer to pretend a high-school peer doesn't exist than talk to him/her doing the old "what's new with you" song and dance. But I'm realizing that in most situations, I'm missing out on so much because I'm choosing the road-most traveled.

So now, as a sort of personal experiment, I'm going to agree to almost every reasonable invitation I usually defer. I'm going to talk to people I normally wouldn't, I'm going to make plans and keep them, I'm going to honor people by telling them exactly what I'm thinking rather than stepping around an issue. I'm going to engage in conflicts, I'm going to confront people and allow myself to be confronted.

I'm going to apologize.

I'm going to get hurt.

Because I believe that our stories are better told with a straight face. I believe the our rising action needs conflict, and the greater the conflict the greater the resolution.

I believe the best songs are ones that combine minor chords and major chords.

I believe in a better story, and I believe God wants us to breathe deeply.

Fantastic Article

If you ignore the language and the questionable terminology THIS is an amazing article.

It's long but very worth it.

Obama's running mate?

Hillary? Webb?

I have to admit, when I was thinking about this earlier, I suspected that whoever he chose would need to be white. After all, a double-minority ticket might be a bit aggressive and alienate some of Obama's white voters.

So you have to choose a white guy (or girl) because you need the white voters.

I moved on to thinking about Obama getting the hispanic vote, and how he would need a hispanic candidate in order to dillute the longstanding black vs. hispanic turbulence.

But then, I started thinking about how truly racist that thought pattern is. In making that leap, I'm assuming that blacks will vote for someone because the candidate is black. A latino for a latino.

Even if, statistically speaking, cultural groups are more likely to elect a member of their cultural group, it's a racist mentality.

I'm basically saying that these groups are just simple-minded enough to simply vote for the guy who looks most like them. True, the candidate might be sensitive to issues facing the certain cultural group, but it's the assumption that's racist.

To me, assuming or predicting the motives and actions of someone (or worse, an entire group of someones) strips them of their humanity and perpetuates a racist formula. It reduces people to mechanics and predicts a certain outcome (voting their race) based on a given stimulus (their race.)

I pray that America votes by principle rather than a fixed cultural common-denominator.

For better or for worse, I think it would be unpredictable. And I think that would be perfect.

Change

With the school year winding down, the light at the end of the tunnel is bright and blinding.

More later.

At church tonight we talked about Cain and Abel and how the descendants of Cain, because of Cain's murdering and lying to God would be cursed.

Cain pleaded with God, telling him that those who knew of him would surely kill him, but God marked Cain ensuring that those who saw him and wanted to kill him would not, now understanding that they would "suffer a vengeance seven times over" for their murdering.

Today, I feel like a descendant of Cain.

Ryan vs. Kelly

Kelly: If I’d have created a website with as many problems, I’d kill myself.

Ryan: Do you have a question Kelly?

Kelly: Yeah I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?

If you know me well

you know that I'm scared (like, completely terrified) of Klaus Nomi, but I think I have found a trumping hand.

Watch this only if you are deeply secure in your Christian spirituality (a little dramatic, but seriously.)

Scary

I won't even post the video code, it's got to be a link.

Vaya Con Dios

Choose More

I was talking with a teacher friend earlier, and he brought up a truth I've been thinking about all day.

We were discussing politics and he remarked, "We always choose between the lesser of two evils, and that always results in evil."

I think this is a process widespread.

So, when and why did searching become choosing? I think there's a time and place for each, but they are not synonymous. They are not interchangeable.

How many times have we, when considering a career, or a school, or a relationship chosen the road oft-traveled because, while we didn't know where it would lead, we knew others were with us. We eumphemize "commiseration" by calling it"security."

We point our compasses towards the safe with our necks craned towards the unknown.
What about choosing passion over practical? What about choosing to come alive instead of simply not dying. There's a reason we obsess about mistakes, there's a reason we revisit missed opportunities, or spend lifetimes trying to replicate experiences. We're designed for more, we're bigger than boxes and I believe God hates it when we settle.

The easy way is seldom the right way. The lesser of two evils is always still evil.

Come alive, choose more.

One Soldier's Confession

I wish I didn't believe him.

Life is Epic

I haven't discussed this via blog. But it's a project myself, Mike, and recently, Travis have started to work on. I'll explain more later, but if you've got room in your prayer time, throw one up for a huge project that I think could change a lot of things.

I know it's changed me.

My Roundabout

I feel like lately, I'm at a constant crossroads.

Stopped. Waiting, thinking, deciding.

I think a roundabout more accurately describes it. I'm circling a roundabout searching for the proper exit, fearing that the choosing the wrong exit will send me into a desert wasteland filled with failed opportunity.

We pacify ourselves through comforts and conveniences. After all, God wants us to be happy and peaceful right?

Peaceful, but not sedated. And certainly not stagnant. I believe that truly, though we're circling this roundabout, we're essentially moving backwards. We're losing time, we're losing opportunity and it's as productive as moving backwards. Since moving backwards in time is impossible, being stagnant is just as grievous.

We've been resting our laurels on cold cliches like "When god closes a door, he opens a window" and my favorite "pray until something happens." I think though, that our faith has become passive in that we're expecting some form of divine street sign signaling us into utopia.

I think though, that God wants us to risk, and if we're risking it means that we're acting proactively into the will of God. We know God's general direction, and for some of us, that may be all the assurance we get before we make a move.

We can be certain that when there are opportunities for change, and for peace and for love and growth and helping, there too God is. We need to make moves toward these things. Because circling a roundabout takes us nowhere.

Take an exit, make a mistake, but move.

"More is lost by inaction than by wrong action"

It's

been a hard week. I'll be writing more tonight.

Think about this quote.

"The deeper you inhale the stronger you can exhale" - Erwin McManus - Chasing Daylight

and give me your thoughts

Inheritance

I was walking through the mall yesterday when I noticed a huge annoying advertisement telling me that I need to "Get my Inheritance!" by supporting/going to the church ran by the picture of the pastor and his lovely wife.

Now, doesn't the word choice here seem a bit suspect? (other than the ambiguous use of the word "get") Doesn't "Inheritance" imply money? Why would this advertisement be in a mall, a place literally fueled by the spending of money? I don't think I'm stretching here to think that the advertisement was playing to our inherent association of the word "inheritance" with money, or resources or tangible goods.

I don't think it was an accident.

This problem is huge to me. Lately it's become close to my heart. We're propagating the idea that when one has faith in God, they begin to accumulate resources. That when you become a Christian, you become the smiling, wealthy, picture of contentment I found on the mall advertisement.

Is that what a Christian looks like?

What about the guy from the broken home who becomes a Christian?

What about the wife trapped in the abusive relationship? Will her becoming a Christian stop her husband from hitting her tomorrow?

What about the poor and uneducated? What about the fishermen?

Will they become prosperous by becoming a Christian? Will God transform their work ethic and opportunity, that they might be successful and prosperous?

Maybe, but maybe not.

I was reading today (after an awesome message on John 15) and the words from John 14:27 jumped off of the page "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

He said it.

The world wants us consumed with money and wealth. Isn't there is a very obvious correlation between the MALL and the word choice of INHERITANCE. We're constantly (and I'm so guilty of this) equating faith in God with success.

But I believe that Jesus would have told his disciples "Success I leave with you." But he didn't, he said "peace." He even made the distinction that he would give differently than the world, probably because he knew that later on, we'd start looking for Jesus to give us the same comforts as we expect from the world, when really, we're calibrated the complete opposite way.

I think really, Jesus is cutting to the chase, eliminating the middle-man of wealth and prosperity. Because think about it, when we buy a car, or buy new clothes or seek new jobs or relationships, what are we doing?

We're seeking peace, seeking contentment. Seeking to fill some hole placed within us.

Jesus is telling us that we'll find peace, which, I believe is what we're all looking for in the first place.

To give credit where credit is due, my students showed me this first. I thank God for that and them. John Piper says everything I just did, but way, way better.

I own the world.

I was getting gas today (62$) and I noticed a well-dressed man walking through the pumps on his way into the store. As I was watching him, I noticed that he looked down and saw a snickers wrapper.

He looked at it, kind of kicked it towards the door, and finally he picked it up and put it in the trashcan. My first thought was, "this guy has to be the owner, why else would he pick up trash if it wasn't his property?"

But then I started to think, aren't we the "owners" of the entire world? God created everything, and it's all His, but did not God give us, humans, dominion over the earth and everything in it? Why don't we pick up "trash" with the same mindset of a business owner?

We've been given power and responsibility, and we should take pride in our ownership.

Our pervasive "in case of rapture, this car will be unmanned" mindset has left us consumed with getting the hell out of here while we're forgetting to get the hell out of here. The world is God's but He's given it to us, leased it to us in a way, and I believe we're charged with the responsibility to take care of it, to grow it and to watch it thrive.

So, next time instead of walking by the wrapper, or practicing your soccer dribbling with the bottle, what if you just grabbed it, and took it to the nearest trashcan?

In that way, we're taking it, and giving it back to God.

In that way, we're getting the hell out of here. While we're still here.

Quote of the day

"Janitor, you ever looked at yourself and wish that you were different in every single way?"

"Nahh, I'm a winner"